12 hilarious and suitable best man speech jokes

The best man’s speech is a highly anticipated part of the wedding reception, partly for the anecdotal stories about the groom told from a perspective that many other guests may not have seen before, but also in part for the hilarious jokes and one liners.

It’s a light-hearted break from the more serious parts of the day, but it’s important to keep the jokes suitable. Don’t forget that you will be speaking to a mixed audience, so overly crude or adult humour should be avoided as it would be considered bad taste for the event.

Here are 12 great best man speech jokes sure to get the other guests chuckling:

1. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I must admit I’m feeling a little nervous at the moment, but probably not as nervous as the bride as she’s just married the groom!

2. Hello everyone, I’m the best man today and I’m pleased to say I had 15 minutes this morning to prepare my speech.

3. Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I’m under strict instructions not to include any embarrassing stories about the groom in my speech today, so on that note I wish you all a very lovely evening, and that’s it from me!

4. Hi everyone, this is the first time I’ve ever been asked to give a speech. No doubt it will also be the last time I’m ever asked to give a speech.

5. Hi ladies and gentlemen, I’m the best man. No doubt the groom will be shuffling uncomfortably in his chair at this point, as I’ve been asked to give him the bill for the drinks.

6. Good afternoon everyone. The nerves have been kicking in about giving this speech for some time, but you’ll be pleased to know I slept like a baby last night… I woke up every two hours and cried hysterically.

7. Hello everyone, I’m supposed to talk about the groom’s excellent qualities today, and sing his praises. Sadly, I’m terrible at singing, and I refuse to lie.

8. The bride is a wonderful lady and I think we can all agree she deserves a great husband. I vow to make it my mission to find out what went wrong.

9. To the groom, you’re a lucky man, you get to leave here this evening with your beautiful wife. The bride gets to take home a lovely dress and some pretty flowers.

10. I’d like to say it’s an honour being the best man at this wedding, but the groom doesn’t have any other friends so I was chosen by default.

11. Being the best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. Everyone expects you to be there, but people freak out if you say too much.

12. I’d like to say a little bit about the groom now, he’s handsome, clever, funny, and… (turn to the groom) I’m sorry I can’t read your writing here!

If you’re feeling creative, you could write some of your own best man jokes to mix it up a little, as well as including some tried and tested favourites. With a bit of humour, your speech is sure to be a big hit.

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